For my friends.

EGO Infestation

Writing with these ballpoint pens
Seems so important
Playing with these missiles
Keeps him going
This little man called EGO
Has infected us, this species
And in our heads the possibilities
Are dying

We control this planet, ergo sumus
And we destroy to catalyze
The second coming
In their names we annihilate
In their names we sacrifice
In their names we circumcise
Because we are so fucking wise
To know that which cannot be seen

His name is Yaweh
He impregnates virgins
With ejaculation holy from the sky
And this I know is true as it is written
For everything ‘twas written has come nigh
As from the head of Zeus, Athena sprang
And the flatness of the Earth once was scribed
And that golden fleece of Jason’s was abducted
And Odin rules Aesir up on high
So this child came to save us from the fire
Crucified when he was thirty three
So now we know that we have been forgiven
For all transgressions in the future, we are free
The glory of it all, exoneration
The ego takes the form of magic book
And me, yes, I will live forever
My body dies but my spirit never will

This ego infestation carries blindness
I will sail into paradise so why care
About this world and its woes
The pollutants and the sloppy joes
None they matter
He is almost here

--PIP

What Does...

a diploma really mean? The other girls might have that piece of paper that denotes success displayed up on their walls next to their college acceptance letters, but I'd like to see them push a human being out of their vaginas. This is work. This is rewarding. But I am looked down upon. They think that I can't understand their 'intellectual conversations' because I lack the 8x11 justification. Sometimes I hate them. I do not regret having my daughter. She is precious to me in every way. The meaning of my life has changed. I have given life. I will nurture life. They think my life is out of order. But who decides? I think we decide. I have not, nor will I ever give up on myself. But I am not first anymore.

They brought me a Bible today--these men in white shirts, ties, and nametags. They asked if they could pray for me. I told them prayer won't fix my pipes. They said 'don't be so sure.' God can do anything. I told them to pray real hard for God to fix my pipes and if in a few days they were working properly, I would read their Bible and go to their church. I don't think they'll be coming back to check.

The child support check is late again.

Thursday...

was rough. I worked a double--morning and lunch shift at the diner. Good thing I didn't wear the new shoes. I picked up my daughter, Natalie, from the sitter and by the time I got home all I could do was collapse on the sofa. But Natalie was hungry. As I got up to make her dinner, I turned on the television and the news was as dreary as ever. Bombs. Guns. Murders. Rapes. I turned the volume down and began humming to myself, the tunes that the grotesque images burned into my brain. Is this the world that Natalie is destined to grow old in? I hope not. Perhaps music will cause another revolution. Perhaps I will not lose all faith in humanity.

The pipes are leaking. I cannot afford a plumber. I placed several buckets around to catch the dripping water. I wish I could give my daughter a better life. Suddenly I feel guilty about the new shoes, but I need to treat myself every now and then. My dream is to wear these shoes around the world...to show my daughter all the beauty that money can't buy. Money. Why is it that the assholes seem to have all the money?

I will make a few extra bucks this weekend, singing with the rock band at the local bar. When i sing, everything seems to melt away. This is my escape. Escape from a reality that I fear I shall never truly escape. Is this my fate?

PIP

Shopping....

is hard work for a hard-working girl, just trying to make her way in America. I'm just a rocker girl at heart, trying on endless pairs of shoes with her girlfriends. When you have 4 best friends who all like to chatter, it can be hard to have your voice heard--especially when you're more concerned about how your feet look underneath the thin black straps of the most beautiful and most uncomfortable shoes. My voice WILL be heard. As a young, minimum wage earning single mother, there is rarely time to take a stand! Check back soon for a glimpse into my life...and for you pet lovers out there, you can bring your dog!


PIP